I squeeze smiles out of you!

Saturday, September 02, 2006
2:00 am

The shame of it all. This lifestyle of depravity. But no one distant remembers this disgrace, nor do they even remember the compulsory biodata, or bother to do the timely update-exchange.

My right to The Union is not yet granted, granted. But this searing need...God is good- but distant to me now...

These stages of relationships- how we always flippantly skip through some and audaciously welcome ourselves indiscriminately. And unconsciously too.

Learned about the dethroning of Pluto as a planet. And now, there's the uncanny occurrence of both Earth's moon and Mars appearing in the night sky as twin moons?!

As David Tao put it (something I cannot put across as a sound enough argument), you're just too beautiful. Smiles.

BEP and PM Lee's collaboration REALLY HAS A NICE RING TO IT. Wahahahaha..

The whole feeling of rejection and low self-worth is really just a pack of lies from disruptive forces. Its presence sometimes spurs me on to tilt more toward proactive optimism.

Ahhhh..still love the old phone. Or rather I miss it. I love my new one better. But what's up with the rising need for new toys? I'm still easing myself into fully utilizing all of my new K800i's fascinating functions and features. Not to mention adapting to the different keypad-interface directive structure.

My new msn nicks always serve to reveal my sudden awareness of stale epiphanies, and nothing more. If only there were one all-encompassing, age-proof identity that sets me beaconing away..

What to do- girls are naturally more critical so their appraisal criteria of EVERYTHING is also much more stringent and elaborate. People's good looks; fashion; food; the arts. Almost nothing escapes their top-notch sieve. Evaluations are largely reliable. Or so says this girl from my OG...

But I do know one thing for sure about the fairer sex.. that their will power is definitely more stable and abiding then us guys. Just somehow, in some way..a biological or psychological make-up about them?

Then there are some who say reality is a tragic place. They are those who hate trying --> failing. Or even the handful who also avoid trying --> succeeding. I'm going to be the third kind- lazy and idle to exit fantasy bubbles...

Are there contradictions here? -->
1) "There is no one truth."
2) 'Surd': meaning both the apparent opposite of 'absurd'; and being an irrational number also.
Haha!

I'm pushing that my Philosophy module= sleep? What's the Premise and the Conclusion here? Divinity= an engineering problem? My shtick is to dissect that ostensibly myopic bigotry.. plus with GOD IS NOW HERE and GOD IS NOWHERE and all that perspective jazz that's cramming our brains all our days and all our lives, the secular necessity to delve into Philosophy and the perpetual debate on the gods and their exclusivity- just co-exists so much with my own beliefs I hope nothing dear erodes.
Perspectives shall not suffice as a fluid truth. Truth: stating that which is, is; and that which is not, is not...is The Immutable Rock. No one's gonna hurt from my general interest in making claims and arguments about Philosophy within the context of my academia, right? As my dad put it so subtly and intricately but full of fervour and conviction, "God helps those who make an effort to help themselves."

This tummy discomfort- a cautionary reminder of my irresponsible eating habits?

The world's taken for granted the significance of pre-planned appointments; they're now all agreeable with sudden changes, equipped with contingency plans awaiting a flashy brandishing. If only it was easy to predict last-minute cock-ups. This unpredictability has become such a trend it's like second nature to us. Conveniently pangseh someone then go do something else you value more. Or get pangsehed, then matter-of-factly go find something else to do instead. I'm old-fashioned? I behave like this too!

I hate having to deal with memories that are forever lost- either through my slothful forgetfulness and/or engrossing indulgences...I then console myself that the loss is all meant to be! Mementos from meaningful and memorable events; or time capsules like this blog of mine thus mean so much to me. I don't mind having to clear accumulated backlogs of all my accounts of old.

My second semester will unfurl soon... By then I aspire to be a better manager of my time and finances. And the then chick will learn to find food for itself more and more.
But for now, my mum has been faithful and angelic all along...I'm grateful beyond what writing alone can do justice to convey. But I'm sure it's all just on a while-stocks-last basis.

If there's only one point in history I'm feeling a particular way, I don't mind that sensory excitement! Ok, but the urge for joining is like the life-defining wrong choice to make. Oh, please help me find more motivational deterrents..
(My existential sutures are giving way. To rawer, more fragile ones.)

doodled
XD