I squeeze smiles out of you!

Sunday, July 30, 2006
5:23 am

Fragile moments. Of so little time spent. All bad forms of enjoyment. On a nondefilement regime of purity and conscientiousness. I'm relaxed- looking to my next resting shelter. I've got to stop any more new cliques; they're all getting hard to manage.

The refreshingly different emptying-me-out makes me look back at tight clutches reluctantly.

doodled
XD

Thursday, July 27, 2006
2:00 am

The hiatus came and went; now I've seen almost all.

Whatever I've failed to capture, I set free to fly far.

All that's meant to stay will eventually be- perhaps.

The tenacity meanders and fluctuates. Can all that I throw toward my newfound direction prove to be trustworthy material? Will I be that worthy steward? Will lives surrounding me take note and stop in their tracks? Should this influx of maturity be compartmentalized, allocated to consistently engulf all other arenas of livelihood?

From Friday till now....NUS. Home. Home. Harry's. Partyworld. Church. Settlers. Church. Esplanade. NUS. Punggol SeaSports Club. Siglap. Home. CDC. PasarMalam. Johor Bahru. And every single person I didn't get to notice; every little occurrence I didn't get to analyze, I now omit and nullify cheerily.

I then turn and declare to myself this: spicks and specks of us humans right here have got far better things to fret about than a plain absence of colourful details. It's far worse out there- outside of here.

doodled
XD

Wednesday, July 26, 2006
2:20 am

Caught between 2, both sick. Aching all over. Impaired and impaled.

Time to revert back from all the laughing and raised spirits..

doodled
XD

Friday, July 21, 2006
2:10 am

The pressure is back. I never knew him closely. The call came from. The distance. The utter disbelief at a lie. The supreme ability to forget and focus. The person matters above all. The checked eye. The first signs of a dollar reservoir. The hyperactive overdrive switch. The dilemma. The anxiety. The pain. THE LIE??

doodled
XD

Thursday, July 20, 2006
2:15 am

Dabble with magic...and grapple with its loss.

Today, we witnessed alot of stunning connections. Stumbled upon astounding revelations. Encountered numerous dazzling tickles. Blame it all on the cloudy perception resulting from consecutive long nights.

I LIKE. My latest approach to all that surrounds me.
And I simply adore thrashing things out. It's my mature man taking over. Moods of 21.

The eye scavenges the interface for more open doors.
The body clock is in need of early day starts soon.

doodled
XD

Wednesday, July 19, 2006
12:20 am

The days have expanded in length to fill our voracious appetites as hunters. The far and deep reaches of one's character surfaces through the test of working together.
Will the finale all pay off? Tiredddd.

M.I.A. means My Island Adventures.
Frames of mind from preceding circles of friends do see their remnant influence on fresh-approached cliques.

But if I don't care about what people think and say, I've made contact with the state of being Present. Which is all about thoroughly enjoying those present blessings of today; and simultaneously not disregarding the stress-inducing blows but handling them as a mature professional. (Today, science+art..)

YMWM AGAIN?!!? It feels so much like I'm having a decreasing amount of time on my hands each day. Even as I pick up my pace to try zooming ahead of time, there will always be cracks and loopholes I might forget or overlook. Need practise to attain mastery.....

Funding issues are an exception. Let there be opportune times to siam where possible, and not out of goodwill nor out of compulsion.

Opportunities- please drop. Eyes, please spot. Personality's dot- stick and stay, but don't you stop.

So the clear mind's gotta kick in- but when exactly? When I'm an onlooker or a participant? And lately, the push to get things done spurs me on. Competition- a force to be reckoned with.

doodled
XD

Tuesday, July 18, 2006
12:27 am

The contradictory story about the freshie councillor issue that I'm going to fight for.
Multi-tasking comes naturally to people who are good managers.

I realize I have been having fun; but from an outsider's point of view. Not absent where I should be.

"BUHUI!!"
"But there's only enough for one bird.."

The laughing shoppers laughed in delirium because of sleep deficiency.

And I've got to get accustomed to conversing like there's no other person around, even though that third person around is someone I'm close to as well.

What do you call that raw surging drive with dynamic productivity- that just lacks that spot-on initial footing and subsequently the precise direction towards an ultimate jackpotting?
You Yong Wu Mou.

doodled
XD

Monday, July 17, 2006
1:55 am

Imagine you see someone who'd never break, break.

The club and the club brought pleasure and pain!

The welcome back home was one of alienation in familiarity.
The upcoming departure will be like a postcoital wetblanket.

My contingency period has seen more than just a dramatic truncation.
To err is taboo now.

The need for being in the midst of quality company and activities, and my own selfish indulgences- they congest my life. Till my life is no longer what you see as an identifiable beacon.

doodled
XD

Saturday, July 15, 2006
5:27 pm

You run your mouth like there's no tomorrow.
That's why when you get uncomfy, then you get energetic.

Which place hasn't been conquered? More improbable places!
This mild-mannered attraction kills my alter-egos.

My making things happen through lack of morale brews awareness.

So goes this reason for all that's in my life.

So I've got to put more thought into:-
1) thematic phases and all of their significances;
2) pulling out of swampy mucks of lifestyle flaws; &
3) what's more fulfilling; and which centre should it engage?

doodled
XD

Thursday, July 13, 2006
2:10 am

Trueblue molting experience. That's good....
Kokboonkrup! Poor but filled.

Wretchethewi exposure lesson. Well & good-
But they're all gonna sit and stay.

My true self in all its different shades.
Wisened up from all sticky idling.

Barraged by mountainous burdens;
Inundated with more lovely getaways.

doodled
XD

Tuesday, July 11, 2006
10:56 pm

Proud of my every brilliant act and achievement. Just hafta be.
Great time trio-ing together. Wanting those else now. Splitting.

Coined so many pet phrases. Ate much to sleep little.
Threw away funds like water. Heaped on mountains.

Jaded and needing home.
Usurped and feeling stoned.

doodled
XD

At this point, I'm sure over the hype of World Cup. I lost okay? No more late nights cos of soccer anymore. For other reasons, yes still.

Zidane, you made it work for you man. With those hits and misses. You still won it.

And the fact that I'm still up at 4am Singapore time just goes to prove my absolute fanaticism over this lovely place.

Great England, Holing. Nothing a Thesaurus/Dictionary cannot do, actually.

doodled
XD

Monday, July 10, 2006
1:56 am

I'm doing the impossible! Greetings from Diamond City Hotel, Bangkok! Nice facilities, this 3-star hotel....

Spent more than half of my funds, with another 3 days left nearly cashless. Argh..
Also stomaching this wretched stomach flu.

A real eye-opener. A far, far cry from Singapore's confined and limited playing space and time.

I wanna come here ALL THE TIME~!!!!!

Okay World Cup '06 Finals. Bye.

doodled
XD

Saturday, July 08, 2006
3:11 am

Mon- the world's biggest choc bar cannot be eaten. Worked the pockets, and the limbs (after a very long time). Love and concern here; and coming soon.

Tue- Bangkok Bunch, here we come! Settlers Cafe (and Daawat Tandoori) are must-gos again. Miss the whole Bad Bunch! Cars all around. Happy scores.

Wed- how many times must I guess right? Mad World Cup. Slept. And talked in comfort. 125 at Newton Circus caused the fever? Drove and talked in peace?

Thu- loveliest day of all- though smudgy and lethargic. Bought; ate; watched; joined; snapped; laughed. Dawn of work again? It can ALWAYS happen to us.

Fri- can't meet everyone then never mind- why fret. Slept in high temps. Woke to the greatest time with the CG EVER. Bolster hugged; calls barred. Care(s).

I believe our lives should never be about waves of rising and dipping- good and bad mood swings; cyclical changes between poverty and prosperity; peaks and abysses of elation and melancholy; the constant switching of predatorial and victimized roles, you get the idea. It has been a vicious circle of vision enslavement that few, over the years, have dared to stay out of.

It should all be one chunk of this concoction: epiphanies after epiphanies of truth and emergence; the pleasures of extravagant luxuries upon the euphoria of simplistic beauties; both gradual and abrupt build-ups of grace and joy; inundation and stampedes of some genuine and sincere FUN. Life's all about FUN and compromising on this entails a squandering of Life itself.

Not to leave out Peace and Integrity in this wild concoction of mine. They move and shake all our bodies in a vigorous, yet subtle manner. Their presence should more than be felt; their existence much to shout about. Maturity demands it. The propagating Appropriate Focus. Snapping out of It at times also.

This week's events, however, cannot be categorized into any one of my known archives...has it to do with me being 21? But familiar habits are still retained, and old lifestyles stick on strong. So is it an irony that my frame of mind has progressed up the next rung? Where're the accompanying actions that seal and confirm? The change can be sensed.

The need is fiercely personal; it's the Cause- the kernel of all motivations. So much so that it's not a motivation anymore.

Redang; Arts Camp; Bangkok. Play; work; study. Friends- Old and New.
THE COMPANION FOR LIFE, AND BEYOND.
Open and unbridled. Cocksure and driven.

Where's my faith now? Lost or hidden. Streaks and hints of it in certain places. Let it soar again, with no compromise this time! I will be in Bangkok from 1055am on Sat 080706 to 2130 on Wed 120706. More meetups after that- this week's have been too rushed. PHOTO TIME IS EVERYDAY. Money- my downfall? Pack now!

doodled
XD

Tuesday, July 04, 2006
7:03 am

"Fight kill, fight kill, fight kill..."
Repeat that and say it twenty times quicker and more hostile. Hehe....

The frame of mind is not at all a mentality. It's the demarcation of where your imagination takes you. Expand that horizon; and you need not worry another day about having a positive or negative mindset.

Going with the flow means I need not exert any effort. And deliberately playing it cool and taking it slow needs much sweat sometimes. This is why the more I know the more I don't..

Friends of life are reliable pillars. Maturity takes you past all the warmth and fuzz of camaraderie and superficial attitudes- into depths and into substance.

I've learned that having a solar-powered disposition is magic only if it stays stable throughout every other facet and strata of life.

I'm allergic to cliches- you're not original and unique, you buzz off.

My motivations now stem from bubble-hopping...every bubble is another fantasy realm to look forward to.

Being dynamic and positive is NEVER about feeling happy about it.

Indulgences in consolation fishes out some undesirable moods but takes a long-term toll on reality-survival. Conversely, penitence is very unpalatable but we've got to take for granted that it mends and builds.

DISCLAIMER: ALL THE ENTRIES THIS PAST WEEK HAVE NO CHRONOLOGICAL VALUE. THEY SIMPLY REVOLVE AROUND ARBITRARY, SOMETIMES OVERDUE NOTIONS AND EXPRESSIONS OF THE SOUL.

doodled
XD

Monday, July 03, 2006
3:03 am

Superman Returns was a magical experience.
Arts Camp was way too SPECIAL.
LOVIN' THEM FOR ALL THEY WERE, ALL THE SAME.

My birthday was way too bland.
My planning was a sucky lesson to stomach.
EVERYTHING WILL BE MADE UP FOR IN DUE TIME.

MY momentous occasion could not have been better situated- right smack immediately after my draining ordeal in NUS (not that I'm complaining about Arts Camp anyway..). The past, I figured, can always take on very different forms and soar to newer heights at a later time. No point dwelling on what could have been; when you have what to look forward to!

But not before I get all unhealthily delirious and dreamily active again. Missing out and messing up is only but normal.

The beauty in simplicity- of everything surrounding me....mellifluous.

doodled
XD