I squeeze smiles out of you!

Wednesday, May 24, 2006
3:49 am

It seems I'm always having three meals a day, regardless of the time I awake. Fats, I bind you. ALL OF YOU.

And so today was another case of ''Thought I Could But I Didn't....Once Again''.

Only some wild concoctions that I came up with happened. They got consumed, and stayed till now. Much longer than I expected! Didn't even need the popiah and the oluak, seriously. See I keep saying that.

Honestly(hehe), I think I need to reassess my very own dos and don'ts of what makes an honorable and virtuous Blade-half of the Blade-Chalice union I'm having now.. The need for the integrity and respect always gets overridden by my practices and habits of the old self. It's strange when I'm having a Clearance A all by meself here....WHY FEAR?!? What happened to the bliss and the passion and the optimism?

And the sleepy day (supposedly a break from all the insane fun) resulted in some called off appointments (2); and housework that I originally set out to do was never done.

I also came up with a nice remedy for someone's sorrow as soon as I got wind of it yesterday. And in the process, started delving into issues that only have pertinence to real adults. See, I'm using that word adult as though it's miles out of my reach. Because while it intrigues, it also intimidates. I don't wanna be that, though I can't exactly change the reality of A-Month-And-A-Week-Remaining!

And then I acted on impulse and used my precious voucher to yes, splurge again. Thought it'd be one of those spontaneous gatherings where everyone absolutely loved each other's company and enjoyed themselves to the max. Did some hasty planning myself which beefed up my ego. But I did something else too. By inviting their wet blanket, everyone's mood went plummeting down. The overall atmosphere was thick with stiffness. Unnatural. Fixated scorn on that one antagonist. Or was it two, myself inclusive.

Sigh... With the cash having flown off and the returns nowhere near worthilysatisfactory, how could I ever forgive myself? Appreciate the lesson learnt, says That Voice Within. I'm soooo sorry for soooo many things!!!!~ And I might just be sorry for a few more if I don't turn in now...
It's true. I am that metamorphosized man. But I'm still training....ain't missin' no train. What're we gonna do when you're gone??~

And yes, it's official. My moolah's up. And the hunt is finally on.

Pack and clean. Up la~!!

doodled
XD