I squeeze smiles out of you!

Thursday, May 18, 2006
4:56 am

My shattered hopes. The British side conceded...sobs!! But I'd smile. Woebegone... But that grit in me....

But SA beat RJ- what a glorious moment!! Alas, I wasn't there to share in the party and joy though.... Grrr.

Awoke to nightfall, but not before I slept at daybreak. A fourteen-hour marathon of R&R which made me ignore all cries from the real world. The phone, the stomach and the toilet beckoned. But me and my single-minded drive was directed at one thing only....ZzZzz's.

And regrettably also, I missed that jubilant victory my alma mater had against RJ. So I sigh for that. Not to mention, the aches(...) don't seem to stop. It contributed partly to my sianness yesterday and the dreaminess today. And no packing was done....I'm already feeling that troubling rush of nerves- tension and excitement and all the urgent preparation for The Union. And the influx of all the imperative reponsibilities of my adulthood are pelting down, in its wake. Didn't call them up too...and I've got more calls to make now!

BUT..
I'm starting to develop an affinity toward that confident and composed outlook on all the externalities around me, which I'm psychosomatically administering to myself....ahh. So the title hence speaks of a lesson, or lessons for that matter, that're as wholly practical and secular as they are spiritual!

The Shes. Please no wars. Man's stages of growth and each's characteristic behavioural stereotypes. My adolescence for instance.
For relationships- I'm envisioning a beautiful journey. And I'm truly sorry for the American Idol incident!! I'll welcome all that hurls itself toward me- With Open Arms. (And I didn't know Clive Davis was such an iconic legend.)

But can I reenact, over the results show later today, how everything was like when I was rooting so much for the underdog just over 3 hours ago? My passionate devotion; my hope and my faith; my resolute support; my confidence in the outcome- EVERYTHING?? I don't wanna allow doors for any doubt to enter, ever again, even at midway. So even if I don't get what I want in the end, I want to keep the pluck alive. For my future perusal. That's why I need You.

Photographs keep the memories alive!! So to me, solely having images in the human mind is really just plain artificial. They're softer than any soft copies of photos, and are rather simulated and counterfeit substitutes. Memories defeat the purpose of tangible and present-tense visual materials.
Okay I'm exaggerating- memories can sometimes seep through the nooks and crannies of what photos fail to capture- emotions, thoughts and experiences.
But it's just that I can't wait to receive that hardware containing all the soft copies....that have actually chronicled all the moments of this past month's FUN.

doodled
XD