ARGH. Hate the hurtful sore and rupture. Can't stretch it fully or be totally sure of what's going on inside.
Felt dreadfully stupid today, but the sensible side intervened. This ain't a good mood thing; it's a genuine gratitude.
Challenging manoeuvres today- lost heaps of time and and got lost in heaps of frantic mindlessness. Missed some scheduled appointments, one resulting in an overlooking with minimal repercussions, another in a rampage fueled by a grave motivation. Both shook me equally hard.
It's not just a minute facet of life; and yet I'm still succumbing to the draw of the Self.
Opened my eyes to the days of yesteryear- in a vastly different backdrop. The company has evolved over the years as well. Saw the doors opening for me somewhat in my favour again, in that manner. Grabbed at it ever so thoughtlessly once more...WHEN WILL I EVER LEARN?! I'm downright double-faced..
And I'm not thinking straight now. Thanks to that human sugar cube!
But, throw all those inadequacies and disparagements at me!! Overpower me with the shrapnel of defeat and the rubble of emptiness. I withstand and hold up, because I fail, to rise again.
So close. Staying strength. She can. So I can.
"I don't wanna spend my life jaded,
Waiting, to wake up one day and find
That I let all these years go by-
Wasted.
Oh I don't wanna keep on wishing, missing
The still of the morning, the color of the night.
I ain't spending no more time
Wasted."
-Carrie Underwood- Wasted
