I squeeze smiles out of you!

Saturday, January 28, 2006
4:26 pm

I'm getting a mucus build-up. Beers are remarkably effective on stubborn throatsores. Coughs come from BBQs. BBQs are a source of pure exhilaration, even as I get unscrupulous and immoderate at times?! Hedonism and decadent living are strictly NOT going to be equated with the right to live liberally and free from condemnation. They seem so acceptable because they are lies that aren't blatantly bad! Thank you, church! People should not manage and prioritize for you; they are but facilitators.

CNY's seeing a stark change this year. A dear one, and a half day- gone; the celebrative company's scarce; the perception of an age-old joyous occasion's tainted.. Now, past cliques are not as free as they were before, it's like everybody's drifting away, out of reach, making things difficult..loneliness and inactivity makes one creative though! What once used to be desperation in emptiness must be displaced with pleasure in certainty. I'll do just fine. Thank you, personality. Because there's drive and hope in me still. I'm rather imbalanced then.

Traditions have been kept, making for a sense of accomplishment. Clothes, goodies, money, reunion. Friends are seen everywhere, really. Even within the family and close mates too..but friends are just those who stop going into a deeper dimension of trust and concern with you. A notyourhonestself-projection, where skin-deep cordiality and orchestrated perfection exist hypocritically. Deeper bonds are all about that truth, that sincerity, that integrity, that candidness. Thankchew.

This is too deep- always attempting to catch that shared consciousness from mid-air, trying to toughen up life for myself. And I can't remember everything. I hate myself for trying to.

doodled
XD