I squeeze smiles out of you!

Thursday, December 22, 2005
11:49 pm

I'm finally studying Noteworthy Composer now! My, my, Blitz will finally (PHEW) do it tomorrow!! WE MUST. After that comes relaxation and alotta freed up time for myself and the people around.. YAY. People want me around, but I can't accomodate that, as much as I really want to. But my moods. They're in the way. Why can't I just be nice forever? It's not the teeth problem anymore!

Meanwhile, arguments for and against my faith have taken a backseat because I confidently know and believe the universal verdict! Hah, I just need to practicalize that, serious. Thanks Russell!

And I'm growing increasingly accustomed to shoving aside all of those distractive lifesuckers, namely:-
1) the urge to get super pissed off and flare up and spoil the entire mood for everyone (like today, phew that nothing erupted outta me);
2) that usual self-righteous air about myself and the itching need to prove that I always have a more legitimate argument than others;
3) the trivial distractions I always contend with when I'm in the midst of settling something I originally want to clear off quickly (I easily get sidetracked; wish I could have that girlie trait- more random friends approaching me online aren't helping);
4) that sick feeling of regret for an unaccomplished day that stays inside me for very long;
5) those destructive emotions that make me dwell in long periods of pensiveness (like people making me the brunt of their frustrations, people bringing me down, people or circumstances that easily get on my nerves, see #1..)
..just to name a few. I'm conquering them!! Thank God. And Blitz. You're really great people. Mean it.

But I'm still fighting these: time, and financial management. Which ultimately drains me out of focus from getting into a more macro perspective on life. I've got to start looking back on 2005 soon, it's ending.

My days are shorter and my nights longer whenever I'm on break. Sickening. I guess I've become a geekish addict to blogging. Wahaha. And I'm gonna be contented with whatever degree of 'no-lifer' I'm being called because I'm gonna continue shoving aside those lifesuckers and I'm gonna go on to a New Year revolutionized and shining like I'm just high on life. And it doesn't even matter if I haven't gone to Orchard Road at all these past weeks, or that I'm not doin' stuff that's happenin', because no one's gonna be defining me.

Or this blog, for that matter.

doodled
XD