I squeeze smiles out of you!

Sunday, November 13, 2005
1:08 am

I still can't be the master over my will. A divided heart.

Oodles of teeming activities lined up, awaiting my undivided retention and savouring. Somewhat distracting, and I'm slipping loose off my own sanity. Pardon the negligence, but I've always been to judging Life with standards: by how it has always treated me. It's all me, I and myself. I see that. But I want to Give now.

Locked in fiery combat with fat-igue now, and yes i'm fat; my Will, or lack of control of it, keeps piling on more haunting shadows. It does pack a punch! And I'm floundering through inferiority and self-reproach. But the Life that's mistreating me right this instant, it does not know I'm comprised of 90% Light - at the core. The remaining 10% is just stubbornly staying put. She's attacking that conspicuous frailty.

Transition into adulthood was today. My clarity of mind finally shot back to me once more. Well partially man. SMU's Jamboree (some matriculation cum open house event specially catered for NSFs) was a pure opportunity for me to gawk in awe at the astoundingly warm and vibrant atmosphere that this university operates in. Amiable and charismatic personnel, both the profs and the students did their part to make us feel both comfy, and driven. I was quickly drawn in to give this uni a shot, seeing that i had not been given a place in ANY of the local universities over 2 years already.

1) Accessibility. Located in Bras Basah, both Dhoby Ghaut and Orchard feel like stonethrowing. Considerably nearer to home too, when compared to the other 3 universities.

2) Grandeur of building's architecture and decor. Not fully constructed but 95% done. That's enough for it to qualify as another great iconic structure in the town area. Presence felt.

3) Americanized style of teaching and learning. As the profs so profess, the university is really pioneering what global education should ideally be moving towards: a broad-based education. Cut to the chase, students go through experiential learning and hone skills effective for inter-personal relations. An increased confidence.

4) Staff make sure students matter as people rather than another statistical number in the campus. This results in a people-oriented environment, where there's a genuine passion in words, and on faces. Pretty girls? Awww. Come on. I'm not admitted yet.

5) There are courses in psychology and sociology in the School of Social Sciences! Another reason to consolidate my stand to want to come here, no matter what.

Although just a couple of hours of my afternoon were spent here, it was enough to open my eyes to try for SMU. I'm not going to be blinded by impulsive bravado, but I've got to be decisive. And believe. Felt Adolescence beckoning at me to make it good here. I'm desperate now.

Academic grades shouldn't take the lion's share of the determining factors for a person's university admission criteria. His passion for the particular course of study should be quantified and tested too. I'm up for that. I hope SMU sees this.

doodled
XD