I squeeze smiles out of you!

A given
1985, east coast, servitude to the nation.
confused, clarity-hungry shapeshifter.
badminton, ktv, the bigscreen, slumber.
soccer, surfing, pool, relationships.
analytical & brain-churning communication.
GOD.

ecstatic_fogginess@yahoo.com.sg

Recent addictions
automobiles
books
fitness
Subway

any other stuff??

Monday, September 12, 2005
9:13 pm

Clearing away an embarrassing backlog of all the cobwebs here, it's time again to hurl toward a refreshing environment.

Understandably, the conquests and defeats in all this have weathered a man. Time and age has been kind and cruel all at the same time, incessantly. Wealth of insight and experience/the squandered youth of irreversible regret. All synonymous actually, if you think about it. Like, what's relative nowadays man?
All those external expectations and personal value systems which had been previously clearly defined, right now, has turned into a shapeshifting blob of either: being the repressed Hulk faking a tamed disposition so as to become a societal conformist to please the masses; or, starting to put the hand on the wheel, slicing off the mask and purposefully KNOWING what i'm doing. And being what i'm knowing. blah.
It just shifts fro and to, like i'm being victimised. Because since no one is ever the same one person to everyone else, that's going to be consolation enough for me? I'm not rushing, i'm not being skeptical and negative. It's just a searing flame consuming me.. to be Me.
It's really not another one of those cases where a renegade wannabe tries desperately not to fit in so that he can garner the glory from being unconventional. Neither is it a regular call for help from someone whose identity crisis is in the final stages of destruction. This online journal could help alleviate the confusion, especially when one's pinned to the neardeath clutches in an uncharted terrain.

God could show up all over my life, but i need to do more than just type.

doodled
XD